CDC Warning On Zombie Apocalypse — Really

Zombie Preparedness 101, courtesy the CDC

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is not known for its comic hijinks. Indeed, the agency’s data and disease reports are typically serious, straight-forward and well, dull.

So imagine the buzz in public health circles when the CDC issued something kind of funny: an advisory on a potential zombie attack (and other emergencies) that was so inundated upon its release Wednesday that the site crashed, according to The Wall Street Journal.

Well, “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse” is back up again, and here’s a taste:

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency…

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schoolman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living Dead and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent…

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

The WSJ reports:

Zombie preparedness is the brainchild, so to speak, of communications staff who noticed that traffic took off when zombies were mentioned during one of its Twitter sessions on Japan and radiation, says Dave Daigle, a CDC spokesperson who led the new campaign.

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  • alec robinson conroy

    .357 magnum revolver

  • alec robinson conroy

    Ok everyone listen up, if a zombie outbreak were to ever occur, the number 1 dumbest thing to do would be to go to a store or public area. Sure it’s got groups of people, but they may kill you for your supplies or you could get bit by a zombie. People would kill you over supplies I. The stores as well, I mean we’ve all seen what happens on Black Friday. Take out the brain. If a zombie is after you and you are prepared stab it in the brain. Best way is either through the eye, or below the chin and up. Only use a gun in an emergency situation unless it’s silenced. We know zombies are attracted to noise. Look for water, make sure you boil it to ensure you don’t kill yourself with a disease. If you’re bitten you are pretty much damned to turn unless you wish to attempt to hack off the limb and prevent the spread. Use zombie guts to your advantage if the zombies smell. Covering yourself in the guts, may be nasty but can ultimately save you, just don’t get wet! Don’t trust anyone! Most will be out to get your supplies and kill you. Find shelter in a safe place like a well reinforced home, but keep am eye out for hordes. Fire can be used as a distraction to zombies if it makes noise and they can smell smoke. Hopefully when the apocalypse happens, we all know how to survive it and always remember, stab it in the head or shoot it in the head. I call dibs on the nearest katana and .357 revolver

  • Izzy

    Zombie apocalypse could totally happen.

  • Umbrella Corp.

    Pure Bull SHIT!

  • Mopo

    I do indeed think zombie apocolypse is possible, for example. Mad Cow Disease has an affect on the human brain when it gets into your system. It makes your brain go into a freeze state that only allows your brain stem to work. This creates a human(zombie) form of being. Because the only thing that will be working is the BRAIN STEM…………. Be aware of MAD COW DISEASE

  • Ashley

    If A Zombie Apocalypse Does Happen..

    1. Make Sure You Pack Food/Drinks

    2. Don’t Be Afraid, If You Are…Try Not To Scream Just Be Brave
    3.Get Some Guns/Knifes/Machetes Or Something
    4. If You Have A Motocycle/Car Use It But Don’t Let Them See You!
    5.NEVER GO TO A MALL! It’s Worst In There
    6.Try To Find 4 Survivors
    7.RUN FOR YOUR LIFES!

  • ashley

    people better prepare…cuz if they dont they will not survive

  • gunzmith

    dont any of you idiots stop to think why is the goverment trying to get the citizens to prepare for a world changing event?

  • Michael Westen

    and this is what happens when we take our orders from the evening news. Why don’t you both grow some nuts and stand for something rather than making excuses/ The government has people who abuse power just like your boss at mcdonalds abuses his/ The government hides shit from us. I wonder why. Would you really wanna know some of that shit that goes on behind closed doors. you’d shit yourself like a little bitch. If you dont like the way your treated by the government do something about it, and if not SHUT THE FUCK UP

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=670605083 Chris Mayne

    You’re an idiot. Communism, or what you refer to as it, is residue from nationalist propaganda left over from our post WWII vie for world supremacy. The Russians helped us defeat the Germans but we couldnt let them be seen as equals, so we labelled them a threat, when in truth nothing could be further from the truth. People like you are what made “Invasion of the Bodysnatchers” so believable. Paranoid asshole

  • TenaciousE

    Why? You all have gotten horribly off topic. The best, most persuasive argument are ones where there is no name calling…

  • Philtr68

    this is only the begining, more incedents will occure & this is not the first incedent? open your minds & start preparing for the worst in the near future…

  • Diediedie

    die die die you f ing 
     Zombies

  • Jordan Ice

    Tobbagans? LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL XD!!
    Hope to see these Zombitches soon. I think really though you are mistaken, they are rally the ghouls of gazerous.
    Peace and Love to all.
    Love GreyBEARD X

    • Blue_harleylady

      is this a joke or are they real

  • Miketopgames

    omg to much  zombie swagg!!

  • Miketopgames

    swagg!

  • DeborahElaine

    am fearful that some have already overtaken the gop

  • Fraserong

    save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahaha

  • Chris3arc

    Wow this help actually to prepare for zombie apocalypse First, you need a sledge hammer a dodge truck with spikes in the front and 40 tanks of gas. Secondly, you need guns just for emergencies and a hospital nearby and plans to make a cure.

    Now if you don’t like that I’ve got this. Just double machetes and martial arts training there your good.

    Have A Nice Apocalypse!

  • xray

    Another justification for drastically reducing the Federal budget. They just keep finding new ways to squander our money.

  • guest

    ok let me just put this into some minds that beleive this will happen the heart supplies all of organs with oxygen brain needs oxygen to survive and to send signal to heart. heart stops pumping brain gets no oxygen brain dies. brain no longer to send signal to heart. even if the hearts starts pumping again brain wont start living again. and with modern embalming techniques( ive watched this myself as my mom is a mortition) the waken dead will have no blood its all been drained and replaced with formaldahyde. and all organs have been run though with a gaint needle type thing if there arteries were cloged. if they came back alive they would bleed to death before they get out of the ground, and radiation has nothing to do with it radiation mutates LIVING beings and possibly kills them im 15 and think this is the biggest pile of shit ive ever heard

  • Yeah

    Time to put my Call of Duty Zombie skills to the test!

  • Conspiracy C

     Either the CDC is using the word “ZOMBIE” as a publicity stunt to get people thinking more seriously about disaster preparedness or they are hiding something and not telling the Amercian people the whole truth.

  • Drzjaniquero

     No Zombies are gonna come out of this.. ALL B/S!!

  • STEVE K

    THIS IS BULLSHIT !  I WORK WITH ABOUT 50 ZOMBIES ! 

  • http://twitter.com/RHS76 Romelle Slaughter II

    If some of you idiots can’t take a joke, then there is something wrong with you. 

    Seriously wrong.

    This isn’t about Obama, politics, or any of that stuff. 

    It was amusing on how the CDC did this.  That’s all it is.   

  • arobotmindedninja!!

    WHOS A MAN EATER?? YOUR OR YOUR MOM!?

  • dyinginyourarms3345

    WOW!!!!! THIS IS SO INTERESTING!! 

  • arobotmindedninja!!

    wow really? a zombie attack?? i just play zombies but you took this hit to far 

  • Andrew Pierce 10

    Hey you never know what could happen. one of these days if zombies actually exist I bet people are not going to think it was a waste of tax dollars lol. Hahahaha

  • Dixidreamin

    Really this is what the CDC is spending our tax dollars on? And they claim if you cut thier budget people will die…Hmmm.I wonder how many lives where save by this waste of time and money!!! 

    • Yadont Needtaknow

       You’re missing the point.  They’re conveying real, good-for-any-situation disaster preparedness information in an entertaining manner.  Many good instructors (everyone from Donald Knuth to Julia Childs) use comedy to keep their audience engaged while they deliver the “important information”.  The CDC got a massive amount of press coverage and website hits with this campaign, while explaining to the public how they respond to disasters/pandemics and what the public should have in their home “just in case”.

  • Rachel Zimmerman

     Please, please keep the comments here free of expletives and generally civil. Thanks. RZ

  • Sydney

    So glad to see their time is being spent
    Ridding the world of disease…oh wait…

  • GaboonViper67

    The great thing about the video games, in which you blow Zombies away, is that there is no moral dilemma associated with killing them; because they are already dead. 

    In other words…a Zombie is just a metaphor for a Liberal.

    • Isa

       Awww, sweetie. You know, this is ALMOST cute, but it would be much cuter if you were just a touch better at English. I’m impressed that you used a semicolon, which I am sure was exactly your intention, but I’d be an awful lot MORE impressed if you’d used it properly.

      You don’t know what a metaphor is, do you?

      • Elvers Pretzely

        I thought the use of the semicolon was totally apt; what’s your beef with it?     

    • Sareion

      Oh, wow i think i love you.  I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile :D.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Geir-Smith/100001456236768 Geir Smith

    Hi,
    This is the real News of the Revelation. Beware: anyone else saying they’re bringing it,
    are false christ and false prophets.
    I alone am bringing the real Message. All others lie.
    Which is that:
    The day of Obama’s victory news issue, the Lottery draw was 666 on Page 2, back-to-back with his victory headline news.
    Spread this news massively, everywhere, to reach all in the world, through all media, means and methods.
    Geir Smith. – My faith is Tibetan Tantric Buddhism the world’s highest form of culture in the world, having Tantrism, sexual Yoga etc…I studied 5 years at Paris Dauphine the famous university (Tibetan language/culture);  I did eight months’ meditation retreat, 28 years of scholar’s research on Kalachakra; I’m it’s sole world-authority.
    Here are the pictures of 666 and the Lottery:
    Obama’s victory in the front page headline news
    http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af229/GeirSmith/Obama6661of3-1.jpg?t=1305390672
    Page 2, with the Lottery in the lower left side
    http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af229/GeirSmith/Obama6662of3-1.jpg?t=1305390865
    Blow-up of the Lottery section and 666, the Mark of the Beast making Obama the Antichrist.
    http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af229/GeirSmith/Obama6663of3-2.jpg?t=1305391048
    This is the news of the Apocalypse.
     

    • GaboonViper67

       You are the highest authority on low grade nonsense. A Tantric Bhuddist talking about false Christs and concerned about 666? So, you studied Chakalaka for 28 years…I think I see the problem now. The fact that Obama is the Antichirst is common knowledge. He is also the Anti-Israeli, pro-Radical Muslim POTUS at the same time. Tell us something we don’t know Bhudda Belly.

    • Nate10

      erm . . . so? i read an article about how more and more women are getting breast implants and on the flip side of the paper was a story about a 7 year old girl who saved her 2 year old brother from drowning and im pretty sure neither of them had breast implants . . . also wouldnt the person who is using 666 on there lotto ticket (or however its done in america sorry i dno) be the anti-christ?

    • Sareion

       Your a Fool Sir, i don’t believe a Buddhist has any right to Claim he knows who the anti-Christ is stick to your own religion.  Obama is the Anti-christ.  hes the prophet, that is going to Declare who the anti-christ is.  Read your bibles.   The Anti-christ WILL be loved by all.  If you wana know who the anti-christ is look up ‘the hero gene’  Time Magazine  It talks about how a certain someone is ‘like jesus’  everyone else is saying it hes not.   He says everyone can be like him.   Read your bibles people.   Obama defenitly is NOT the anti-christ.  But the anti-christ will come shortly, and so will God.

    • beefstick

      Are you back on earth or still meditating? get real!! 

    • http://JEMoores.com/ J.E.Moores

      Good eye, thanks for putting that together. Since I’m mortal I don’t claim to know “anything” but I feel like something bad has happened to our country (USA). I don’t know how it feels in other places. I believe we never see the faces of the men in power, presidents and the like are part of the smoke screen. Imagine how scary Obama’s Bilderberg meeting must have been. He’s scheduled for a meeting with all these high hopes for the country, and ends up at a surprise meeting far away with the Bilderbergers, who in turn let him know what he’ll be signing and not signing. The White House is a prison, and they know where his little girls sleep. Any man who loves something on this earth cannot do as he wishes. It would take a leader that has no earthly ties to push an agenda. Kennedy’s last speech was about the global bankers taking over world governments via private companies like our Federal Reserve. When our patriots left England, they were leaving the fiat cash system of the Bank of England. Once we stopped printing our own money these same bankers won. Now that counting our votes goes to private companies, there is never any public disclosure. If we can never count the votes, it would be a sign of weakness to not use that benefit. We have completely lost control of our government, as it no longer is in place to serve the common people. How is it not a conflict of interest when Senators can vote in their own health and retirement plans (they are even exempt from the new health bill – hmmmm). What makes America great is we get to question our government. When questioning the government becomes defined as terrorism, we have lost what makes our country unique. The Patriot Act is in place to stop patriots, that’s why it’s not called the Terrorist Act. I wonder what group is big enough to do something. I wonder what group is big enough that isn’t part of the problem… something has to be done, as voting alone doesn’t give me confidence, there is too little action. It will have to get so much worse because none of us have it bad enough to march together. At least when Nibiru comes in 2012 all this will be over if we’re lucky. (I already have my boarding pass to the Annunaki ships). Until then ~ Trust nothing, be weary of any news that is funded with ads for Big Pharma, try to look at media to see what they are hiding, remember that everyone that assumes the role of a writer does so because they have an agenda (including me), read a lot of ancient history to see patterns, and openly talk to more people about your feelings and distrust of our government. Let’s get public disclosure of our votes back, and let’s print our own money instead of borrow it from the Federal Reserve. Oh yeah, why not put in the same energy and be more tolerant of one another, be kind. Something happy might happen. Thanks again, J ~

      • Tracz

        http://www.nasa.gov/centers/hq/emergency/personalPreparedness/index.html

        They know something will happend that we are not prepared off that is so almost fictional as zombie attack..? That’s why we won’t be able to defend ourselfes with fictional medi kits tha’t why they choose zombie attack, to defend ourself, of the thing that is undefendable and it’s coming. Can’t you see it? They clearly pointing to alien attack Zombies? (aliens) Cosmic events (other planets), Unknown viruses, desises (unknown alien chem weapons) ? Wtf? Or it will be some bad pandemic unhealthable virus… Anyway we are all going to die

  • Ashes_gir

     is all of this foreals?

    • Mary

      No lol 

  • Xfdsioefsdfjksdlf

    tardedre
     

  • Jacob

    Total ripoff of Zombie Squad.  http://www.zombiehunters.org

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MSVG73USMG342DWORQKIEJ6HVQ Bob

    Zombies are attacking right now! I’ve pulled up the draw bridge and filled the moat with flaming napalm. That’ll hold em off till I can find a safe FEMA refuge. Like a formaldehyde trailer. Thank goodness for the government!

  • http://twitter.com/abusosPoliticos Joe Hero

    maybe gop can put one to run against Obama =so far all their firepower have been CLOWNS..

    • you’re no patriot

      maybe you can hug a power-line and shock some brain activity in that thick skull of yours.

    • Jbnra

       Vietnam Vets who’ve been used as guinea pigs by the US Govt. Patriot – prove your patriotism – find out how bad our Govt. has treated those who’ve protected us

    • Realist

       Lol “Tree Hugging Liberal”, I think you proved with just those 3 words, why you and your kind should be eradicated… Zombie!

    • Dpsht

      Obama is a liberal… 

      • Saspecht

        Obama is a lying, stealing piece of excrement like the rest of the “two party system”. There are few men of integrity left, not only in politics but in this entire nation. It matters not whether they label themselves Republican or Democrat. It matters how they feel about their fellow man and living by the Golden Rule. Two that come to mind are Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich. They both lean different directions, but both can be trusted and taken for their word. Obama has none of those qualities, and never will.

    • someone

       @5a756e80926273fb43c23861ae47f106:disqus : If you detest the president, doesn’t that make you a terrorist?

      “If you’re not with us, you’re with the terrorist.” -George W. Bush

      • Sareion

        To someone (the guy above me) –

        Here’s something to think about,

        Lol, and that’s the thinking Communism Spreads.  I bet Russia is sitting and laughing about how Democracy Works so Well. literally they got you believe your free.  Current Day Democracy “communism in Disguise”  The Only Terrorist in this country are the liberals and some of the elected officials “who none of us elect.”  Liberal I’m pretty sure means to be liberated or Free.   But its kinda confusing now days because Liberals are trying to Impose all these laws on us.  And they say that Republicans are the bad guys Because they Don’t or didn’t want to change nothing, because the stuff you wanted to change was restricting our freedoms.  But im neither of those, I on the other hand believe in the founding constitution.  Which according to Obama, if your Christian “and actually believe it, a returning solider from the War, or you believe in the founding fathers Idea’s then your a Terrorist”  If you don’t believe me, type it into Google.  You look at it posted on Govt. Websites and tell me im stupid.  So basically if you believe in Freedom, doing good, and a God who loves you, or you fought for your country the govt despises you and your a Criminal to them.  OH not to mention how all the foolish people just want to help them get rid of the 2nd amendment.  The one thing that just keeps this country from turning into a full on Communist Country.  You know, not the right to Own weapons, but the part that follows it saying that in the event we wish to re-government ourselves we may do so, either diplomatically, or by force if necessary, and that we should have the “same” weapons our government has, seriously its our constitutional Right.  Ever Wonder why all these politicians are so big on Getting rid of the 2nd amendment.  And to everyone that was so Gung hoo on the Patriot act, you dumb asses you might as well learn to read so you know what your voting on.  Because if you read it anyone that is even “considered to possibly be a terrorist, because we said so has NO rights anymore.”  Yep, null and void because we allowed it.   Oh and all you got to do is say 2 words on your phone to be put on the potential terrorist list, or probable and there is something like 250 words on that list that they wont release.  America just needs to wake up and actually start caring about politics instead of caring about What they don’t have , or what the latest Gossip.  and possibly pay attention to the laws they are voting on, think about future consciousness maybe?  And that Idea that are govt would never screw us.  Statistics show that 100% of people abuse power when giving the opportunity to do so, and that every Govt has taking the opportunity to do so.  Maybe open a history book.

        But I don’t worry about any of that just thought I’d give you a heads up.  All of this is talked about in the Bible, it just so happens that its signs of the end times.  Its Crazy how the last 2 years that I’ve done nothing but research almost everything i come across (when I’m not working) just happened to relate to the bible.  Honestly some of you really should open your bibles more often and read what your God has left you.  Because God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son, so that we may not perish but have everlasting life (john 3:16).  A man you never knew, loved you SOO much, he died for you.  And some of you don’t even Care.  I don’t care to debate this,  I can prove my God is real.  And don’t care to ‘try’ and prove it to you.  You research and find out.  All im going to say Is that God Loves you, and he wants to help you.  He just wants you to ask him first, and all he ask is that you raise your standard of Good so high that if we all did that there would never be war ever again because we’d all love and help each other.  Such a evil thing to do being christian.  And Yep i am evil, and i can do no good, apart from God.

        • anon

          But that all falls apart if God doesn’t exist.
          :> 

      • Ahwrock

        Are you actually quoting the biggest IDIOT that has ever lived like he is some great all-knowing being? SERIOUSLY??? Wow, you sound just like the rest of this ignorant, murderous country that masks reality with things like “operation iraqi freedom” just to get their greedy blood-soaked hands on oil for a profit. Why don’t you take a look at the REAL things going on in the world instead of just watching Fox new’s “big brother” EDITED news for the weak, shallow, ignorant minded people in the U.S. GET A CLUE DUMBASS, THIS COUNTRY”S GOVERNMENT IS A BUNCH OF THUG MURDERERS WHO TAKE WHATEVER THEY WANT AT THE EXPENSE OF WHOEVER THEY WANT OR WHOEVER GETS IN THEIR WAY.

      • Ash

        george w was a puppet, a terrorist puppet. think team america, only with more un consensual sodomy. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_X4R4ISMSR3X4GYQLO34WLINL24 Mike

    Not had to imagine really, our President seems to be a Zombie, or at least has the brains of one.
     

    • Katieb

       Do Zombies have brains?

    • Joe

      your right 

    • Joe

      yeah mike our pres is a zombie, secretly 

    • Joe

      your no patriot 

  • None

    Its better than handing out capes to the unemployed.  Dr. Evil Unemployment I think they called him.

    • Mary

      I saw that on Glenn Beck. 
      Grown people wearing capes…haha.