family meals

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Instead Of Therapy, Put A Little Thanksgiving Into Regular Family Dinners

Mark's postcards from Beloit/flickr

Mark’s postcards from Beloit/flickr

Anne K. Fishel, Ph.D.
Guest Contributor

When a colleague recently told me about her Thanksgiving tradition, it got me thinking about family dinners — a topic I consider every night around 7 pm and with every patient I see in family therapy.

Indeed, as a mental health provider, I sometimes feel I’d go out of business if families had regular dinners with one another. Truly. There are dozens of research studies that show that frequent family dinners promote kids’ mental and emotional well being — by lowering rates of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse, for starters. Family meals also strengthen children’s resilience, self-esteem and sense of connectedness to their parents. Isn’t that exactly the goal of therapy?

It’s no wonder that I often have to stifle the urge to say, ‘Stop wasting your time here. Go home and eat dinner together.’

But, I’m well aware of how hard it is for busy, harried families to find time to sit down to dinner, and I’m always looking for new ways to unlock the benefits without adding any guilt or pressure. So, that is why my colleagues remarks sparked my interest. Here’s what she said:

“My sisters and I love Thanksgiving so much that our father makes a Thanksgiving-like meal throughout the year that he dubs ‘Harvest Dinner.’ We just can’t get enough of his mashed potatoes!”

I love the idea of bringing the special quality and spirit of Thanksgiving dinner to everyday meals. Two elements could easily translate to everyday dinners: sharing the workload, and focusing on more than just food. Continue reading

Family Meal Boost: Lower Depression, Eating Disorder Risk In Girls

The concept of “the family meal” remains elusive — more nostalgia than reality — for many modern families. But it’s still worth striving for, according to a recent analysis by public health researchers at Tufts, who found that frequent family meals can reduce the likelihood that teenagers, particularly girls, will develop problems ranging from alcohol and tobacco use to eating disorders and depression.

sunface13/flickr

sunface13/flickr

Despite the benefits, researchers report that less than 60 percent of children eat five or more meals with their parents each week.

I asked the lead researcher, Margie Skeer, an assistant professor of public health and community medicine at Tufts University School of Medicine, a little about her analysis, published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence. Here, lightly edited, is what she said:

RZ: What happens at family meals that may be protective against risky behavior, like substance abuse, or other mental health problems?

MS: If family meals are frequent and consistent, mealtime can serve as a conduit for open, ongoing communication, where people come together to not only eat, but to talk about their day. In this regard, mealtimes can provide for a baseline level of communication, whereby parents/guardians can learn about the everyday, ongoing aspects of their children’s lives — both important and ordinary. This can create an environment that allows for the development of three crucial features of the parent-child relationship. Continue reading