Peter Braaten, now 20, still retains an indelible third-grade memory of being unable — simply unable — to stay seated in a reading circle. “And I just started walking around, because that’s what made me feel okay at the time. And the teacher said, ‘No, sit down, sit down.’ And I basically just couldn’t sit there, because I felt unsettled at the time. And I just couldn’t read, I wasn’t getting into it, so I kept pacing, kept pacing…”
Ellen Braaten, PhD, Peter’s mother and the chief child neuropsychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, is an expert on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, but that doesn’t mean it was easy to cope with it in her son. She recalls the “humbling” experience of going to IEP — Individual Education Program — meetings with school staff as a parent rather than an expert: “Peter has seen me in IEP meetings where I’ve had to yell at them…”
They share their experiences in the podcast above with Dr. Gene Beresin, director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital, and the Center’s associate director, Dr. Steve Schlozman, who treated Peter. One central message from the podcast, Dr. Beresin says: “As with every psychological problem, we all have to find out what works for us. Because what works for one person is not necessarily what works for all. There are no magic bullets. No platitudes. No simplistic answers.” But Peter is now earning all A’s in community college, helped in part by academic coaching and regular exercise. The post below supplements the podcast above.
By Peter Braaten, Ellen Braaten and Gene Beresin
One of the most difficult things for me about being diagnosed with ADHD (especially at such an early age) was understanding this as a helpful push in the right direction. It was very hard for me to appreciate what a “diagnosis” means. Does it just mean a guide for treatment? Well, that might be fine for a doctor, but in my experience it is not good guide for others. In some ways, it significantly influences the ways others view you. Some understand what it means, while others don’t — some adults around me did not even believe it exists or just seemed to disregard it.
‘I have gotten in trouble more times than days I’ve lived on this planet.’
Context is what I find difficult with this diagnosis. It is really something that affects every aspect of your life, which is why it is so hard for other people (teachers, parents, etc.) to understand what it means for an individual to have ADHD. A diagnosis in itself does not inform others around you what tasks are easy or difficult. It does not differentiate effort levels. So for me, some activities have been pretty easy to accomplish, while others are very hard, if not impossible, without some kind of coaching. And the amount of energy that it takes me to do different projects is highly variable. But only I know this, and a teacher, parent, friend might not know what I am going through — they are not living my life.
We live in a world where results are everything. Too often I have been told to just ‘try harder.’ Well, ‘trying hard’ just doesn’t cut it anymore – it is not so simple if you have ADHD, and especially if you have problems with organization in some tasks. I have gotten in trouble more times than days I’ve lived on this planet because I complete 85% of an assignment, task, or any kind of job. And then when I just cannot do the rest, others around get angry, frustrated, or don’t understand. And worse, I get really down on myself! Continue reading