Soon after the Newtown shooting, a viral blog post titled “I am Adam Lanza’s mother” captured one mother’s anguish over having a mentally ill and violent child. Lisa Lambert, the executive director of the Parent/Professional Advocacy League — subtitled “The Massachusetts Family Voice For Children’s Mental Health” — responded by eloquently describing the public silence that usually prevails among such parents in the face of widespread stigma and hostility, and the damage it does. Her post was titled Parents of Mentally Ill Children: ‘We Don’t Tell You And Here’s Why.‘
Today, a year after the shooting, NPR reports that promises to fix the mental health system after Newtown remain unfilfilled. And USA Today reporter Liz Szabo tweeted from Capitol Hill this week: “Mental health reform struggles to get attention. Rep. Tim Murphy announced major bill. Almost no one showed up.”
Here, Lisa Lambert looks at the effects of the Newtown shooting — and the lack thereof — on children with mental illness and their families, one year later.
By Lisa Lambert
Dec. 14 will be the first anniversary of the Newtown school shootings that took the lives of 20 young children and six school staff. Adam Lanza also shot his mother, Nancy, and later shot himself. In the aftermath of those 28 deaths, intense conversations took place both publicly and privately about mental health, guns and prevention. We asked ourselves what went wrong and what needed to change so this wouldn’t happen again.
Twelve months later, not much has changed.
Last December, many families whose children have mental health needs were optimistic that there would be a renewed focus and the will to take a hard look at the children’s mental health “system.”
Those of us who use it, work in it or navigate it realized that while there might not be a wholesale fix, even some patching up could make an impact. Many of us told our stories and shared our worries in an effort to keep this important discussion on the front burner. We were hopeful. Finally mental health, especially children’s mental health, was getting the attention it needed.
The early reports about Adam Lanza and his mother, Nancy, highlighted his bizarre behavior and isolation and their slow drift into accepting these things as the new normal. Those reports sounded a lot like the personal stories many families tell when they call my organization for help, as well as the story of my own son.
When he was younger, I watched him become wildly enraged at trivial slights and fearful of ordinary things. Once, in a movie theatre, he ran screaming to the lobby because an adult character became out of control, which mirrored the way he was feeling. We all hoped these stories would point out his dire needs — and our own.
Instead, the conversation about mental health and children has focused on training teachers, creating a registry of people who have been hospitalized and, of course, guns. There are new funding and education programs for teachers and other school employees to recognize the signs of “mental illness.”
While it’s always a welcome idea to invest more money into children’s mental health, most parents will tell you that they notice something worrisome going on with their child long before the teacher does. But there’s no funding to teach parents the same skills and facts, and no recognition that we can be valuable “first responders,” even though most parents are pretty expert about their children. For parents, not much has changed. Continue reading